Sylviir Notes

Time keeps on slipping …

Already noon…

Bored and less motivated than I have been all week… last night I should have stayed up…. I was on a roll and the definition of motivationally driven actions with a purpose.

They say that men attempt to make up psychologically for the fact that they cannot have/create/give life or a child. The main way they do this is through the creating, making, or production of items or buildings. I can somewhat agree with this. I love creating things for others or to express myself. As you maybe aware I love children. Perhaps my artistic, performance, and written natures are an underlying related force for the need to generate and produce something for the society I do belong to.

Rapidly my XBOX LIVE subscription is running out. Just informing all of those who I play online with.

ROYAL FUCK! For the first time this week I looked and the fucking date and realized I missed someone’s Mother Fucking Birthday …. MOTHER FUCKER…. *sigh* I’m a horrible fucking friend.

Happy belated Birthday Becca Ruiz… :-(

Its my last day on spring break. This week off has actually been one of the best weeks I’ve had off. Though last year’s spring break was pretty kick ass around that Wednesday I had to see My best friend go off to Afghanistan.

“I SAW A SQUIRREL HE WAS DOING LIKE THIS” *imitates a squirrel licking their front paws and washing its face*

It is a good morning isn’t it. The sun is in the sky and the bees are trying to have sex with the birds as is my understanding.

“I think I hear my factory recalling me.”

So here is what I did today:
I talked to my mom, attempted to talk to my brother but he couldn’t hear me.
Met a friend while he ate lunched … while I talked …. I’m sure my little ADHD addled mind and mouth were all over the place.
Went to the bookstore and killed 2 hours looking at art books, books about science, and history, and D&D, and humor, and bargain.
Then picked up the money my mom sent me.
Then I got uber bummed out as a result of a social interaction.
Then a friend of mine responded to my text and they picked up my metaphysical self and dusted me off.
They also made me feel good about myself.
And now I’m moderately happy.

“Does this sash make me look fat?”
“NO TODD, VISION MAKES YOU LOOK FAT!”

I really feel that either the universe or many people (a number of them friends) through nonverbal communication telling me I’m a pathetic loser and a waste of space and time. I haven’t decided if I believe it or not or if I agree or not.

Feeling less than respected by a friend, acquaintance I guess really, that I must have misread or misjudged.

Craziest thing just occurred! I just got a huge boost to my self confidence, ego, personal philosophy, and may have quietly to myself indulged in a little self righteous comment or two. Why? Whilst discussing an incident that according to them I shouldn’t have to deal with for a reason or to I realized despite the fact I make my SOP OR MO. quite common knowledge people easily overlook it or confuse it with a more negative behavior when in fact its what drives almost every part of my life. My mission statement.

I am good enough, smart enough, and, you know what I am just going to come on out and say it, doggone it people like me.